Why Does It Matter

Standing Stronger Podcast, Season 2, Episode 2. That's right, it keeps getting better and welcome back to another episode of the Standing Stronger Podcast. My name's Shannon. And I'm Little Shannon. That's right, we have the same name, if you did not know. They know. Probably, this could be the first one they ever listened to. Well, we have the same name. Yes, all right, so let's get on with it today. Today we have a special episode planned for you and we're gonna talk about how to get over that overwhelm, why does it matter, all of that good stuff. So stay tuned, stick around, because not only do you get to hear the fun, friendly banter, but we have some actual good content for you today.

Right? Let's do it. All right, let's do it. So we are going to get into the podcast by starting off with what's been going on with you this week. So this week, well, we were together last week for the first time for season two, so that was exciting. We had a lot of good feedback from our listeners, so I'm excited. They're excited that we're back, so that makes the encouragement come through. We love to hear that. Last week, going into this week is our last week before school starts, so it's just preparing for the new routine of the fall, which I'm excited for. Jordan will be in seventh grade. Mackenzie starts VPK, which is crazy. That is super crazy. And I'm gonna be a senior.

That's right, senior for the second time. I know, is that an accomplishment? I know, well, I mean, if you would have went to college, it would have been for the third time. So it's one of those things, I coach cheerleading, so I started four years ago with the girls that were incoming freshmen, and they are graduating this year, so this is my senior year with them. So I'm excited to start my senior year. I love the start of the school year. I love routine, getting back into that as much as different challenges arise from it, you know, homework, everybody getting to bed on time, baths, you know, stuff like that. But I look forward to the routine.

I look forward to football season, so go Eagles. That's right. So with me, a lot of exciting things have been going on. For one, if you're on the live stream, you can see we have fancy new microphones. These are the Shure SM7Bs, and the cool thing about these is Michael Jackson used this microphone to record Thriller. I forgot the name of the song. This exact microphone? Not this exact. This was Michael Jackson's microphone, but he used this brand of microphone. So we're excited about that, and we've been setting it up. Hopefully it sounds better for you guys, and if not, let me know so I can return these and get my bazillion dollars back.

Yeah, they weren't a bazillion dollars, but audio is important. We want our listeners to be able to hear us, so if you hear anything that you shouldn't be hearing, or it's too loud or not loud enough, let us know so we can fix that. All right, so as I can see, Shannon cannot talk and me do something on her computer at the same time. It kind of fries her brain. Yeah, I want to know why you're touching my stuff. Anyway, let's get into the meat of the matter this week. Okay, so for us, why does it matter? We went through this past week, and like I just said, the schedule's changing.

We strive to help our listeners feel as though they're not alone here, so we talk about the real things of the world. And this week, for us, it's that overwhelming feeling that can overtake you when you're stressed out or in a situation, and why your attitude matters in that time. Yeah, so this week has been a challenge, especially for my wife, and actually this past, I would say, 90 days have been a challenge for my wife, because our business is doing really well, and one of the great things about when your business is doing really well, you have a lot on your plate.

So for me, I have always, for the past 10 years, over 10, holy crap, over 15 years of developing and running my own businesses, I have always not had anything to do in terms of work. I've always had way too much work and way little time. So I've never had enough time in the day to get all the work that I needed to get done done. So with my wife, she's never really truly experienced that. She's experienced the, yeah, we're busy, but she's never had to take on a role where it's like there's not enough time in the day to get everything done, and that's been stressing her out majorly, where that does not stress me out, because I'm used to it.

It's been so long in my life where I've had so much to do that I didn't have enough time that I never think of it anymore. It's just that's the way life is. It's a new thing for her, and man, it's been crippling for her. It's like she almost can't function in some instances because of the actual load that is on top of us, and I get it. I understand it, but I'm like, babe, this is how it's always been, and that load really isn't even on her. She's just realizing how heavy the load is on me, and that's stressing her out. And what I'm trying to explain to her is this is nothing new. This does not stress me out. I've always had way too much to do.

You just did not see the work that I had to do, and that's the difference. When you're building a business, you're doing a bunch of things that people cannot see. There's no tangible result in those things, so people don't know what you're doing. You're just sitting there to them. Like my mom used to say, I don't know what he does. He just plays on the computer. Well, and I kind of want to back up. Back up. Back up. So it's one of those things where any mom or a woman in general, I feel, in my opinion, we do more in a day than men and dads do. No, I totally 100% agree with the fact that you— Some of us. I can't speak for everybody. I don't want the hate comments to come below.

So my overwhelmingness comes from so many things going on in so many different areas. So, for example, I'm a wife. I'm me. I'm little Shannon. I've got to be who I am and take care of expectations that I want to have in a day because we all know that gets super frustrating if you're always helping everybody else and not yourself. So me, I'm a wife. I am a mom. I am a business owner. I am a cheerleading coach. I am a friend. And when the day just keeps going and you're like, I just want to accomplish this, and you can't because you've got to go interfere with the match between your two kids or a friend. I just want to reach out and have coffee with a friend.

And I can't even do that because I'm overwhelmed with I don't have enough time. And time will end for me one day. And I don't want that to happen where I have a whole bunch of stuff just left out there and unaccomplished either. Does that make sense? So it gets overwhelming. No, that does make sense. I think the difference is, and to your point, in our life, my wife, how she does everything she does in a day is beyond me because she is practically, well, I say it all the time, she's practically perfect. It's crazy. It makes me, like, insane sometimes. It's like, just mess up something, please. But the point is I get what you're saying. The only difference is I've adapted to it.

I'm used to it. Right. And even for me in that, our roles are completely different in our business because you are definitely the technical side of the knowledge and I don't build websites. You know, I'm trying to learn little things here and there to help, you know, but when it comes to, like, projects, I don't want to be the nag. I don't want to be that person. But I'm a much better time manager than you are. So for me, it's like, okay, these are the projects that we need to get done today. But then you get started on your projects and then you're like, oh, it's like the movie Up. And it's like, oh, squirrel, you know, and that's you.

And that's hard for someone like me that doesn't have that attention issue. You know, like I'm here, I'm focused, this is what I'm doing on. If I think of something, oh, I need to, you know, right now I'm thinking, like, I think of 10 things, I can write them down and come back to them when I finish this one thing. So for me, again, I don't want to be the nag of, like, you need to do this, you need to do this, you need to do this. Oh, and she always is. She's like, you need to do this, you need to do this. And I'm like, listen, it will get done. Just chill out. I know, but because that needs to be done today because I have a whole Another list for you to do tomorrow. Exactly.

And one of the major problems is I'm still working in the business way too much. And I take on a lot of projects simply because I enjoy doing them and I like doing them and things like that. So there's times and this is something I'm working on is I need to learn how to step away from working in the business so I can work more on the business and grow the business. However, I think one of my fears is growing the business. So it's more comfortable for me working in the business so that I'm not out there working on the business. Does that make sense or did I just say a whole bunch of words that meant absolutely nothing? Well, it makes sense to me because we talk about it all the time. So yeah.

So overwhelming feeling. But I have to be very careful when I get overwhelmed because it seems like the first people that get the wrath of that overwhelming are my kids. And I don't like that because I don't want I mean, I don't mind if I dish it out on you because, you know, we've been married for long enough. Like you, I accept you for you. You accept me for me and we get over it. Sometimes I'm like, oh, yeah, I can't wait to make up. So. I don't know why that grosses me out. It doesn't gross me out. I just don't know why you say things all the time like that. Anyways. When I said make up, I just meant like high fives. Yeah, I know what you meant. Lollipops.

So my kids definitely catch the wrath. I mean, I apologize more than I don't know if you do that to your kids, but I do apologize to them because I don't want to see them frustrated. I try to teach Jordan, especially. I mean, he's at the age that he truly knows how to let frustration out, not McKenzie, but where if, you know, he's in a moment, I say, like, you need to step back and come back and we can reconversate. But if I find myself in that moment, I do go back to him and say like, Jordan, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to take my frustrations out on you. You know, I'm just overwhelmed with this. And I feel and he's always accepting. He's a great kid. You know, that's OK, mom.

I understand. But it's not OK, because after so many times of it, you're just like, oh, my mom's just an unhappy person. And I don't want to be an unhappy person. I'm not unhappy. I just get overwhelmed in my frustrations. Yeah. Right. And what is it like? I'm saying at least in the past 90 days, I'm like, babe. It's time to whatever this is to chill it out. Well, yeah, she's mad. I can't. No, I just I have that. I also have a need to justify what I feel, how I feel. And that's the moment that I'm in right now. So I feel like I need to justify.

But most people, I feel like, can relate to that that feeling, whether you're a business owner or not, whether you're just, you know, you're a mom or you have a job and you're a mom or you're a wife and you have a job or whatever it is. But there's always projects on the plate that can take you to an overwhelming feeling. It's what your attitude is in that moment of how to release that overwhelming. Yes. Yeah. Right. Does that make sense? Yeah, that totally makes sense. And she's right. One of the first things. And it's not just her. It's me. It's you. It's all of us. We take our frustrations out on the people that were the closest to. So it's going to be your spouses.

It's going to be your kids. It's going to be your best friends. We're not going to treat strangers the way we treat the people we love, which is crazy because we should treat the people we love with the most respect and love. But most times, that's just not how it works when you're angry, when you're frustrated, when you're upset, when you're off kilter. The first person that gets it the most is the person that's the closest to you. So that's something we all need to work on, especially me. And I had a major issue with that for the longest time is taking it out on taking it out on her and taking it out on the kids.

And that's still something I have to work on with Jordan because it's so easy to take my frustrations out on on Jordan. Yeah. And for me, one of my biggest fears and I don't have a lot of them, but one of my biggest fears is that my kids will one day say my mom was not a happy person. And I don't I would I don't want them to have that memory in their childhood of my mom was always stressed out. My mom didn't stop to enjoy the time with us like even yesterday. I was getting overwhelmed like, OK, I'm trying to watch what you're teaching faith in that moment of uploading podcasts. I was trying to, oh, I got to type out our notes for tomorrow, you know, just different things on my plate.

And the kids just wanted to go ride their bike. And I'm like, you got to wait. You got to wait. You got to wait. Sometimes the kids have to wait. No, I feel like I always make them wait. Right. Well, the problem here's the problem is, OK, so people, I don't know, we own a business that helps doctors leverage technology and the Internet to grow the practices. However, we have we work from our home. We are in our house right now. This is an office inside of our house. If you are at work at that time, the kids aren't going to come to work, you know, come to your office and say, hey, mom, I want to ride my bike. They're going to wait till you get home and you get off of work.

And that's the difference is our kids have never known either. Well, they've known her. She had she had a regular job for a while, but they've never known really. Well, McKenzie hasn't. McKenzie's never known a parent with a regular job. No, and that is true. But the problem I had already walked away from work. I walked away from work. We ate dinner. I came back to work and then it was like, oh, you have to wait. You have to wait. But I then just told myself, I stop like it's 20 minutes. Go outside. Let them ride their bikes. Come inside. Get ready. You know what I mean? And it all worked out. But I feel like in those moments you have to stop and say, let me examine this situation.

What am I frustrated about right now? Because it was like, can I just finish this? Can I just finish this? But a four year old doesn't get that. And neither I shouldn't expect to almost 13 year old either, because he still desires our attention. You know what I mean? Does that make sense? No, that totally makes sense. And that's another issue of working at home is it never stops and you have to learn how to shut it off. But yeah, you know, it's tough and it's just something that you have to put your eye on and make a target and try to to correct that. Yeah. I mean, even Jordan will ask, is it hard to be a parent? Hardest thing in the world. Right.

But again, like Jordan's such a great kid, but he still faces things that I have to face with him or go through things. It's just it's it's tough. You want to make sure you're making the right decisions. Are you giving them enough attention? You don't want to give them too much attention. You don't want to buy too much for them. But do they have everything? Do you want you know, you want to do more for your kids and maybe what you had growing up or even just teach the morals and good values, but still like let's enjoy life and do this. Is that it's just it's it's tough. It is tough. Yeah.

And well, the thing with Jordan, too, is for the longest time, me and Shannon were going to write a book on how to be a fantastic parents because we thought we were the best parents to ever walk on planet Earth. I'm like, we are good. Yeah. However, what we realized is we just had a perfect kid. We had an amazing kid in Jordan. So it wasn't our parenting that did it. It was just the amazingness of our son that that did it and made it easy. So what is my point? I have no clue. I just wanted to tell you about how awesome our son was. Yeah. And he is. Next item on the list. I know we talked a lot about really parenting and that's which was not what makes me overwhelmed.

It's the whole picture of a day that can take you whether you're having to get out the door to get to your job on time and then you have to be there and take that and deal with either the community or people inside. And some people just love their jobs. I used to love my job. I didn't. I was OK. Like you hate it. Yeah. I'm kind of like maybe I need to go back to a nine to five job. No, not really, because I love our freedom. But, you know, everybody's life looks a little bit different, but we all are facing those same trials at the end of the day. But that's not who defines us. You know, those trials aren't what defines who we are.

So how do we try to keep a good attitude in that overwhelming? Well, when it comes to overwhelm, when it comes to overwhelm, I look at it this way. What's the most important? Because anything we Being in the moment and being present. Don't worry about what's happening tomorrow, what's happening the day after, and what's happening 30 minutes from now. Worry about what's going on right now and embrace it. Now, with that being said, yes, I say all the time, live today for a better tomorrow. You need to be aware of what you need to do to get done tomorrow. However, you also need to be aware that whatever is in the moment right now will never get back. You'll never have it again. I agree.

So, what helps you stay on track to not get overwhelmed? Well, the biggest thing to stay on track for me is I married you. Yes. So, I knew that I had issues. Well, everyone can't marry me, so what's the next tip? No, the next tip is understand your weaknesses. For me, my weakness is schedule. My weakness is a to-do list. I would rather wake up with zero on my schedule and navigate it as I go and have the freedom to bounce from this to this to this to this. However, when you're running a business, that's very hard to do. And, I mean, I've been fortunate as I've built a business doing that. Waking up in the morning and going, all right, what am I going to do and how am I going to do it?

And I only did what I enjoy doing. That's the only thing I enjoy doing. However, what I learned was you need to do the things that suck as well. And in order to do the things that suck, they have to go on your calendar. They have to be planned. They have to be scheduled because if you do not, like Brian Tracy says, if you don't eat the frog first, it never gets done. What? Yeah, Brian Tracy, if you got to eat a frog, you better eat it. The analogy is this. If you have to eat a frog, you better do that first or you're never going to do it. You're just going to sit there looking at it. Why a frog? I don't know. Probably because it's disgusting and slimy.

No one wants to eat a frog, so why don't I do it first? I got it. You know what I mean? I don't want to eat a frog. Right. The point isn't eat a frog. The point is do what sucks first because if you don't do what sucks first, it never gets done. That's why people need to work out in the morning. Right. Well, that works for us. It might not work for everybody else. Right. Well, I mean, it used to not work for me. I used to love working out at night because working out was one of the funnest things I did and I loved it. However, as I got old and fat and out of shape, working out sucked. Yeah. So it sucked. So you don't want to do it.

So if you wait till the end of the day, you're tired and it sucks and everything else and you just don't want to do it. So if you are not in the best shape of your life and you love working out and it's like the one thing you look forward to each and every day, don't wait to do it till the last thing you do or you're not going to do it. Do it the first thing in the morning because you got to eat the frog first. Stop talking about eating frogs. So, yeah, that to answer your question, how do I stay from getting overwhelmed and getting done what needs to be done? Number one is you put the things that suck first and you put it on the schedule because what is scheduled gets it done.

If it's not on the schedule, it doesn't get done. And that's something I've had to learn and something she has helped me with because she is a scheduled. Let's put it down, map out the entire process, the plan and everything that we're going to absolutely do each minute of the day type of person where I'm not. But there's a lot of value in how she structures things. And I just want to also say I'm not a planner like any of my friends will test you. I am like, hey, we're going out to dinner in like 20 minutes. Do you want to go? Like I can't plan things like.

Yeah, in terms of in terms of our personal in terms of our personal lives and even in business, she's not a outlook 90 days type of planner. However, she is a get up and plan the day out. I need to know what we're doing and who's going where because there's a lot of lives involved in that. So it's like I know boot camp starts at this time. I know it ends at this time and I get to come home. But I know from this time to this time, Mackenzie has to be ready and we have to be out the door to go to school. I know that like this morning we were starting at 930 and you were like not happy that I was making breakfast because I was hungry. Sorry, but I entrusted that you had all of this set up.

I don't do that. And so I said, well, why are we starting late? And you said because you made dinner late and I had to eat breakfast late and I had to eat breakfast. However, I was working on a different project. Right. So for me, it was you didn't need to do that project. I am talking in the microphone. Sorry. You're making me mad now. My blood pressure is hot. I can see the red little red right there. So for me, it was that time management was you got up when I went to boot camp. I know you didn't work out. I got up at 530. You did not work out. How do you know? Maybe I just didn't. No, you didn't. No. So you did not work out. And then I did go work out.

I had to get Mackenzie to school and I had to eat because I hadn't eaten breakfast yet. And yes, we were scheduled to start at 930. But you chose to work on another project that could have been done after this. And we could have been completely mic'd up, ready to go. When I came in at 7 or 927 and put on headphones and said, why aren't we mic'd up? Well, you made breakfast late. That's because I was planning on setting all of this up while we were like instead of eating breakfast, I was going to be setting this stuff up. But you had three hours for it to be done. So next week we'll be on time because he hates not being on time. You guys want to see. This is what we do.

This is how we operate in business and in marriage. This is it. So for me, that is frustrating because that's time management. Like we started late. Now it's 1013 and we could have been done 15 minutes ago and we're just wrapping up. So with that being said, we'll take care of our issues off camera. It's about to go down. Do you remember this? I do remember that. She secretly wants to punch me in the face right now. That's what I have to do. I feel like Tom Hanks from Only Get Their Own when he yells at the girl and doesn't say anything. That's kind of what I'm doing. So, yeah. So what helps us stay on track? We exercise in the morning. That's a big release of stress completely.

Not only are you taking care of your body, but you release all those endorphins and all that crazy stuff that I don't know enough to tell you, but I just know it works. So any type of workout. Scheduling your task. It does work. So I guess what will help next week for accountability for even me is to say, hey, this time to this time, I need you to set up the podcast instead of like, what did you do this whole time? I'm waiting for you. I need to be that manager. And time management on the schedule. Number four is that cutoff time from work. So for us owning our own business, but even for people that work at a job, sometimes it's hard for them to leave the office.

Like I used to say when I was working in a medical office, like when I walk in that door, everything on the outside has to stay on the outside because I'm there to do my job. And then whenever I leave that place, the job had to stay there. I couldn't bring it home because then it did nothing but interfere with my home life. So when you walk out the door, it has to stay away. I know in some jobs you just can't do that, but try to find a way that you cut off that time. And if you need to go back to it later, but give that time to your family or yourself, whatever it is, to have a cutoff time to say from this time to this time, this is what I got to focus on.

That's extremely hard for me to stop working. Yes, it is. Especially when you love what you do, that's all you want to do is do that. So for me, that's an extremely hard one. But I am much better at it. Actually, when we go on vacation, I'll actually go on vacation, where before I would bring my laptop with me and work while they were at the beach. So they would go on vacation. Right, and I'd be working up in the room on vacation. And just the last thing I want to say, because this is big for you, it's not for me because I have no trouble in this area by the end of the day, but sleep. They say you should get how many hours of sleep? Eight hours of sleep. Eight hours of sleep.

That might not like for me. Whatever, you sleep nine hours a day most of the time. But for you, like five or six hours is enough. So I feel like everybody's body is a little release and come back. Sounds great. All right, good. I think that's been a good podcast. We're right at 30 minutes, so we need to wrap it up. I would end it with just saying if you're overwhelmed, take a step back and realize what matters. So if exercising is what helps release your stress, do that. If it's spending time with the kids, spend time with the kids. If it's spending time with your significant other, best friend, whatever it is, do that.

Because when you're overwhelmed, it simply means that you're too focused on what's in the future. Because you can't be overwhelmed if you're focused just solely on what is right now. Now, the caveat of that is you've got to live today for a better tomorrow. So you need to be focused on your future. However, you can't let your future and the unknown of the future overwhelm you. You simply have to do what you can do with the time that's allotted and make sure that the things that matter to you most are slotted in there. Agreed. Got it. So thanks, have a fantastic day. And as always, hopefully we'll see you on the beaches of the world. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, every day is a new day.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, and everything's going your way. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, just want to make your life more better. Hold on, I forgot to say, subscribe, like and subscribe. All right, thanks, have a fantastic day. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh